Every situation is different, every spouse is different. You know your spouse. How do you think he or she will react? Is he violent? a wife beater? Will he or she use your children as a weapon against you? (threaten to take the children away from you or perhaps use a dark secret as blackmail.)
IN ALL CASES, PRAY BEFORE CONFRONTING YOUR SPOUSE.AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T ACT IMPULSIVELY (like a chicken without a head)
COUNT THE COST
Be prepared for a domino affect BEFORE confronting your spouse about having an affair. Prepare for the scenario that is most likely to happen in your situation. For example, have money saved up if circumstances force you to leave your home and you have to travel. Begin organizing which belongings you will take with you. Actually, if civil, the one in default should leave if unrepented. One indication of being belligerent is denial or blaming you or others.
Luke 14:28For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?
Luke 14:31Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand?
GET TRUSTED GODLY COUNSEL
Should you tell your children? I know of a woman that didn’t have to go that far. God worked it out for her because she talked to God first of all and received godly counsel. Then she made up her own mind. Nobody found out except the people involved and her discreet inner circle of godly counselors.
Psalm 11Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.2But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.3And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
THE DECISION IS ULTIMATELY UP TO YOU
If your spouse humbly admits to this wrongdoing, is he or she resolved to choose your sacred marriage over the other woman, or is she resolved to choose your vows before God over another man?
1 Corinthians 7:14-16
14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
OUR CONVICTION
This spouse cannot have their cake and eat it too. This spouse cannot live like man and wife with you while irresponsibly having an affair. There has to be an ultimatum.
1 Corinthians 6:16What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
KEEP YOUR DIGNITY
Keep your composure as the woman of God or man of God that you are. Receive God's peace that passes all understanding. Speak truth. Let your spouse see God’s glory on you. Christians know how to rise above the circumstances as the eagles rise above the stormy clouds. God compares his people to eagles. Let your spouse see your integrity over the cheater and spouse thief.
DO WHAT IS RIGHT
No manipulation is going to help you. Don’t get frivolous or petty. Don’t use the children as a weapon against your spouse. Don’t come down to his or her level. Lift up your head, God’s glory is upon you. His Spirit will strengthen you. God’s wisdom will show you what to do. God will help you. You are not alone. If there is anyone to feel sorry for, it’s the cheaters. Pray for them!
PRAY WITHOUT CEASING AND TRUST IN GOD. PATIENTLY WAIT FOR HIM TO ACT ON YOUR BEHALF. WE HAVE PROVIDED YOU WITH MANY SCRIPTURES IN PREVIOUS POSTS THAT GIVE GODLY COUNSEL, AS WELL SCRIPTURE YOU TAKE TO GOD IN PRAYER.
BE PREPARED TO FORGIVE
The initial shock is over, you've gone through the grief, the anger and all the mixed feelings in between. You are ready to confront your spouse and he is torn by his infidelity and repents. FORGIVE--PERIOD.
Luke 6:37Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven
Gift items:
http://www.zazzle.com/hoaryhead*/gifts
IN ALL CASES, PRAY BEFORE CONFRONTING YOUR SPOUSE.AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T ACT IMPULSIVELY (like a chicken without a head)
COUNT THE COST
Be prepared for a domino affect BEFORE confronting your spouse about having an affair. Prepare for the scenario that is most likely to happen in your situation. For example, have money saved up if circumstances force you to leave your home and you have to travel. Begin organizing which belongings you will take with you. Actually, if civil, the one in default should leave if unrepented. One indication of being belligerent is denial or blaming you or others.
Luke 14:28For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?
Luke 14:31Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand?
GET TRUSTED GODLY COUNSEL
Should you tell your children? I know of a woman that didn’t have to go that far. God worked it out for her because she talked to God first of all and received godly counsel. Then she made up her own mind. Nobody found out except the people involved and her discreet inner circle of godly counselors.
Psalm 11Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.2But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.3And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
THE DECISION IS ULTIMATELY UP TO YOU
If your spouse humbly admits to this wrongdoing, is he or she resolved to choose your sacred marriage over the other woman, or is she resolved to choose your vows before God over another man?
1 Corinthians 7:14-16
14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
OUR CONVICTION
This spouse cannot have their cake and eat it too. This spouse cannot live like man and wife with you while irresponsibly having an affair. There has to be an ultimatum.
1 Corinthians 6:16What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
KEEP YOUR DIGNITY
Keep your composure as the woman of God or man of God that you are. Receive God's peace that passes all understanding. Speak truth. Let your spouse see God’s glory on you. Christians know how to rise above the circumstances as the eagles rise above the stormy clouds. God compares his people to eagles. Let your spouse see your integrity over the cheater and spouse thief.
DO WHAT IS RIGHT
No manipulation is going to help you. Don’t get frivolous or petty. Don’t use the children as a weapon against your spouse. Don’t come down to his or her level. Lift up your head, God’s glory is upon you. His Spirit will strengthen you. God’s wisdom will show you what to do. God will help you. You are not alone. If there is anyone to feel sorry for, it’s the cheaters. Pray for them!
PRAY WITHOUT CEASING AND TRUST IN GOD. PATIENTLY WAIT FOR HIM TO ACT ON YOUR BEHALF. WE HAVE PROVIDED YOU WITH MANY SCRIPTURES IN PREVIOUS POSTS THAT GIVE GODLY COUNSEL, AS WELL SCRIPTURE YOU TAKE TO GOD IN PRAYER.
BE PREPARED TO FORGIVE
The initial shock is over, you've gone through the grief, the anger and all the mixed feelings in between. You are ready to confront your spouse and he is torn by his infidelity and repents. FORGIVE--PERIOD.
Luke 6:37Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven
Gift items:
http://www.zazzle.com/hoaryhead*/gifts
